


If the Rain Stops

by kipnotize



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: (his flirting is atrocious), Angst with a Happy Ending, Confession, First Kisses, Flirting, Flower!Eren, M/M, Pining!Eren, Police officer!Levi, Poor!Eren, Rain, awkward!levi, flowershop au, i mean literally he is flatass broke, insecure!Eren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-16 08:33:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7260271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kipnotize/pseuds/kipnotize
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren's life is not a fairy tale. He's a normal guy who's not well off, who never went to college, and who barely manages to scrape by with what he makes in the flower shop he owns. However, when a man with a plain black umbrella shoves himself into his life, slowly the world begins to take on color.</p><p>And as Eren tires of how stagnant the pace of his life is, Levi becomes increasingly more exasperated with how hard it is to flirt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If the Rain Stops

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sciencefictioness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sciencefictioness/gifts).



> sciencefictioness- please accept my humble offering as thanks for everything you have gifted this fandom with

Eren's POV

 

The first time he came into the shop, it was raining.

It was on a Saturday in April, so it wasn't unusual for the sky to darken easily and dampen the world beneath it with spat out drops of water, sometimes coming down in sheets and other times only barely causing your hair to frizz due to the sudden and pressing humidity. Sometimes you would catch the rare kid jumping from puddle to puddle, soaking their clothes and shivering in the light breeze before their mothers caught them and ushered them inside to warm up, but most often you would look outside only to see a mass of umbrellas, never stoping, a field of multicolor flowers that was the only splash of flavor on these dismal afternoons. 

Sometimes I would give names to the people walking past my small flower shop based on what their umbrella looked like, filling in insignificant details of strangers as I waited for closing time to arrive. The elderly lady from last week with the bright yellow umbrella was Alice, who was old and lonely and missed her deceased husband, and who spent her time waiting for death by staying with her daughter and letting her try and brighten her life with small things like gifts of cheery umbrellas. Sam, with a blue umbrella with red poka dots, would wait every day in front of the restaurant across the street for his girlfriend to get off work, and he would be met with a kiss on the cheek and a laugh at his insistence upon bringing the old umbrella he had been using when they had first met and he had been nearly blown over by a particularly harsh gust of wind. 

It was nice, thinking about other people in the long hours the shop was open, mainly because it was rare to speak to any of them. No one wanted to buy a bouquet of flowers when they could rush home to the warmth of dry air and a loving family, so business was scarce, and that was normal. I hadn't volunteered to take care of the shop because I had been interested in profits, and despite what Mikasa and Armin thought, I hadn't taken it over because every flower I saw brought back memories of my mother, permanently asleep in a bed of dirt beneath the ground.

I did this simply because I wanted to.

I had been arranging a small bouquet of dahlias and peonies when the bell on the door had gone off for the first time all day, and I paused in what I was doing to let my brightest plastic smile stretch across my face as I looked up to greet my costumer and possibly only companion for that day. I wasn't able to take much in, however, as after I had met his gaze for a moment the man's eyes had widened slightly and without a single word he had turned and left the shop, once more opening a plain black umbrella to shield him from April's weather. 

My eyes chased him as he walked briskly out of the range of my window, managing to register the blue police uniform the moment before he disappeared, and after another moment I sighed, deflated. I had been looking forward to having someone to talk to, even for a moment, but though he looked over his shoulder once during his hasty retreat the light flush on his cheeks had done nothing to lure him back into my shop.

It was normal, though. Well, maybe not having people flee the small flower shop after seeing me, but normal to not have anyone but the flowers I cared for to talk to. I didn't usually mind, not having anything to say anyway, but it was nice to hear about other people's lives when they came into the shop. It was my way of traveling the world without a plane ticket, of learning new things without having to pay to go to college, and of getting to know how others thought and what they thought. It was nice, and perhaps that was why I had wanted to take over running the shop instead of letting my father sell it to someone wanting to turn it into a small dance studio.

Two hours later I had been about ready to close up shop, pointlessly counting the money in the cash register and wiping down the counter as I stalled before going upstairs, not having anything else to do and not particularly wanting to go to sleep right then. I didn't have money to go out, really, and the few books I owned had been battered and worn to bits from how much I had read them, so most nights I would try to hang out with Armin, but he was out of town this week and there was definitely no way I had money to drive and see him. 

I tilted my head back to stare at the ceiling, feeling resigned to another cheap dinner and an early bedtime, when once more I had been startled out of my thoughts by the bell on my door. I had jerked my head up, silently wishing for whoever it was not to run away, and had met eyes with the second cop today. This one was much taller than the one that had deserted the shop as soon as he had entered it, blond hair and blue eyes with eyebrows that could perhaps put the most scraggly looking men to shame, but nonetheless he seemed collected and incredibly well off.

I smiled at him, and he smiled back.

"I must apologize for coming here so close to closing, but a friend of mine I had asked to pick up some flowers called me last minute and said he couldn't do it. Would you mind helping me out?" I smiled wider and shook my head, already making up the life story of this police officer and his friend. His friend would be tall, too, successful and busy and always in a rush, with perhaps a dark blue umbrella. His name would be John, and he would be a lawyer.

"Not at all, it's nice to see someone sees my shop with all the grey of the sky in the way!" He chuckled softly, and I began turning to look at the current selection of bouquets I had out. "What's the occasion?"

"A funeral, I'm sorry to say. An old friend of ours was in a car accident and didn't quite make it in time." I felt my expression soften in pity, though I didn't bother with words of comfort. What would I say? 'Sorry to hear that, from personal experience I can tell you that it doesn't ever really get better'? No, even I knew when there were moments in which speaking up wasn't the best course of action, and one of those moments was now. Instead I simply nodded to myself and reached for a bouquet of white cyclamen and dark crimson roses, handing the flowers over to the blond man with a half smile and accepting the money he handed me without a word. 

After working here for so long, after studying the meanings of flowers and color and shape arrangement, after examining my costumer's habits and speech patterns as I tried almost desperately to make up lives for them, I resigned myself to the fact that there were some people who came here simply for the flowers, and some who didn't. Some like Mina, who came with a soft smile and the need to be reassured that I was still okay, that I hadn't become too lonely or poor, and who genuinely liked to watch me arrange bouquets that would probably never be sold.

This man was only here for flowers.

He left before I caught his name, and I didn't expect to ever see him again. It was really that simple, really that boring, really that disappointing, but it was okay. The man's umbrella had been a dark blue, matching that of his uniform, and despite the reasons for entering my shop he seemed to be a happy man, and who was I to expect people like that to hang around just to relieve me of a never ending feeling of being suffocated by the city's quiet noise?

I sighed, finishing closing up shop and dragging myself upstairs to the dingy, cramped space I called home and not bothering to turn on any lights on my way to the bed I sought refuge in from another uninteresting day. The bed's frame groaned as I lowered myself onto it, perhaps a perfect imitation of what the sky would sound like if it could speak, and for the fifth time this year I half-heartedly promised myself that I was getting close to saving up enough for a new one. 

For now I could live with this one, though, with the single comfortable pillow the one nice thing I afforded myself cushioning my head and preventing cricks in my back from spreading to my neck as I dreamt of a colorful place with lively music and a sun that was never dormant. It was nice, and the next day I found myself day dreaming about it as I waited for another listless day to pass.

"Oi, brat." The voice startled me, enough so that the stool I was on tipped over and dragged me to the ground with it as I let out a cry of pure terror, ready to at any moment be devoured by the monster that had snuck into my shop without causing the bell on the door to wake me from my dreams. Even this was wishful thinking, I suppose, for then at least the world would might notice the small little flower shop that sold colors unlike that of any umbrella, and perhaps then people would hide behind flowers instead of underneath umbrellas, and the world wouldn't seem so monotone anymore. "How long do you plan on laying on the ground, idiot? It's fucking disgusting." 

"Long enough for my costumers to doubt me, I suppose." I pulled myself onto my feet and sighed, eyes skimming over the black umbrella before they landed on the police badge that glinted in the light of the store. I blinked, then blinked again, and then: "You're the guy that ran away yesterday!"

Grey eyes glinted as they narrowed behind a perfectly parted curtain of black hair styled into an undercut, and I huffed a breath of amusement at how much shorter than me he appeared to be despite the muscle I could easily assume was hidden beneath the folds of his uniform. I wouldn't ask for his name and wouldn't give him mine, because this time I knew without any conversation: this man was here only for the flowers. 

"I had some other shit to do." The barely-there explanation had been mumbled out with a small glance upward, and I realized as our gazes clashed that he had been avoiding my eyes until just then. 

"Shit that required you to put off getting flowers until today even when you had already entered the shop yesterday?" I quirked an eyebrow, but instead of a verbal response the shorter man stuck up a choice finger my way as his disgruntled expression grew to be more so. I let out a breathy laugh, sending the police officer a lopsided grin when he looked up at the sound of it, and then I was struggling to place myself back into some sort of professional state of mind. 

The look he had given me when I had laughed at him was odd, as if his face was unsure of what expression to hold and had decided to do a mixture of everything, and I could only assume that he was struggling to stop himself from reaching over the counter I was leaning against to murder me for being amused in his presence if his cold-looking eyes were anything to go off of. I sighed, letting my grin fall from my face to replaced by a smile identical to any other you'd see had you walked into any other shop, had you locked eyes with any other person. This man didn't need to see my smile, he only needed to make a purchase. Some people are just like that.

I tried not to mind too much.

"Anyway, welcome. Anything particular you were looking for?" He seemed startled by the question, as if he had never even thought about it, and I sighed. I hadn't expected him to be the type who came in not knowing what kind of flowers he wanted, but I suppose I had always been hasty to create stories and lives and reasons for people to come into my shop. Maybe I was wrong, maybe this man was in here because he really did think flowers were pretty, but I doubted it. He didn't seem like the type to really like flowers in general, so there was no real reason for him to visit my usually unnoticed shop unless he had a reason for the flowers.

"...a gift?" He tone seemed wary more than questioning, almost as if he was wondering if he had given the wrong answer, but I shrugged it off and continued to ask him if he had a specific type of flower or bouquet in mind. "Do I fucking look like I know anything about flowers, brat?"

I resisted the urge to snort and roll my eyes, amused by his defensive answers. His attitude seemed to have done a complete one-eighty from the man who seemed unsure how to look at me, but I wasn't displeased with this harsher version of him. It was a hell of a lot less fake than what he had been before, less like he was planning out each word he spoke, and a lot easier to deal with. I found myself hoping that he would stay as careless with his words as he had seemed just now, but it was unlikely- already he seemed to be regretting his harsh words, though he made no move to take them back.

"It's my job to ask you, sir." The words were strained, so clearly fake, but it didn't matter. I couldn't afford to lose a costumer, even if I doubted he would talk to me much. I sighed, turning my back to the shorter man and letting my gaze fall onto the selection of flowers I had made into bouquets. "What's the gift for? Birthday, date...?"

"No. Not a date." The words were sharp, and I found myself involuntarily turning slightly to look back at him and raise an eyebrow. He swallowed, the tension that had originally been in his muscles when he first spoke to me coming back, and I became aware of the odd way he seemed to be avoiding my eyes. "I'm not with anyone. Currently." The stiff words were followed by an awkward cough, and I rolled my eyes as I turned back to the flowers I had been examining.

He definitely had a date.

A brunette, probably, young and slim and pretty with big brown eyes that he was happy to get lost in despite their common color. They hadn't been together long, that was for sure, and this man now was struggling to figure out how to keep her happy. Maybe her name was Lily, and she had taken a liking to the flower she was named after. I wouldn't be surprised, if the way the police officer's eyes lingered on a bouquet of the aforementioned flowers was any indication.

"Right. Well, do you see something that looks nice?" I was already moving towards the lilies, though that wasn't what my eyes were set on. The lily was motherhood, childbirth, and this man wasn't looking for that. He would want something sweeter, something more appropriate for when a couple hadn't been together for a long time, so instead I ghosted my fingers over the petals of a camellia; affection was much more appropriate. The raven haired man standing stiffly on the other side of the counter may deny having someone special, but that didn't mean I wouldn't help him woo this nonexistent date. If I did a nice enough job, perhaps he would come back.

Perhaps he'd come back just to talk.

"Whatever you think... I, uh, trust your judgement, brat." I hummed softly in response, glancing back at the shorter man for a moment.

"Do you mind if I make something right now? You'll have to wait a few moments, but I can-"

"That's fine. I'll wait." I blinked, but after a moment simply turned around to slip into the back of my shop, reappearing a moment later with the flowers I would need and a few sheets of white crepe paper. I had discovered a few years ago that costumers seemed to tolerate time spent waiting on me better if they could see me, and it helped me gauge their reactions to what I was making for them if they were watching anyway.

Still, it was rare for someone to be so uptight and surprised when I came back out, and after a moment of deliberation I decided that it would be best to fill the silence with something, anything. The poor guy seemed completely lost as to what to do with himself, and I wondered if he truly didn't have much experience when it came to expressing his feelings. He didn't seem like the type that spent his free time in flower shops trying to find a way to impress someone he liked, nor did he seem like the type of person who would spend much time in a flower shop at all for that matter, and for a moment I wondered just what had dragged him here through the rain and colorless umbrellas to make awkward eye contact with a kid with an eternal case of bed head.

"Do you work at the station down the road?" If possible he seemed to grow even more tense at the question, and I had to fight off a small smile at his nerves- if I was the lucky girl, I'd have quite some fun teasing him about them.

"Tch." He paused, turning his head slightly as he diverted his gaze, looking slightly guilty and a hell of a lot more defensive than he had a moment ago. "No. The one in the next district." I raised an eyebrow, pausing in what I was doing, two flowers poised in my hand as my other held the flowers I had already put together.

"Why the fuck-" I cut myself, biting my lip. Don't curse in front of costumers, don't even risk something like this, he could be extraordinarily religious, he might get offended and leave-

"You don't have to-" I looked up from my hands, meeting slate blue eyes and trying not to look too relieved that he didn't seem ready to scold me for anything. "You can... Speak. However you'd like. I won't leave, brat." I blinked, then blinked again, and then I was sending the pale man a blinding grin, smile stretched from ear to ear at his words. 

"You know, you're unexpectedly kind. I think we'll get along just fine." Whatever verbal fluency he had had before-which wasn't much, mind you-disappeared instantly, and I let out a soft laugh when I was once more left with a mute ball of tense anxiety. "So, why the fuck are you here? I mean, hey, I'm not complaining if I'm able to pay the bills, but it's quite a drive from the next district over."

"There's no flower shops. In that district. Yours was closest." I sent him a skeptical look, going back to what I was doing as the short man seemed to struggle with something before continuing. "Do you not get many people? If you need help paying the bills, I mean..."

"Oh, well no... I suppose not..." I let out a tired sigh, not wanting to slip back into the dismal thoughts wrapped in wet skies and the people who walked past without even glancing in the direction of my shop. This man didn't seem to mind my smile, so it would be best to stick to known territory, to keep smiling, rather than risk he grow even more uncomfortable should my heart become heavy at the thought of how few people came into my flower shop. "But... It's okay. It's not a problem."

"Oh. Do you... Have a boyfriend? That supports you?" I looked up, incredulous, and at realizing his mistake the raven-haired man's eyes grew wide and he took a step back. "Shit, fuck, I didn't mean-"

"Is it that obvious?" My amused expression seemed to relax him slightly, so I didn't bother to pause in arranging the flowers he had asked for. "I didn't know I gave off a vibe I was gay." I laughed softly, not really offended at all, and the shorter man reached up to scratch at the back of his neck.

"So... The boyfriend-" 

"I don't have one." The temptation to tease him for his slip up was great, but I let it go and just answered honestly. If he came back, if he wasn't so bothered by me that he came back, then I could talk to him again, and I'd rather that than only this one awkward conversation.

"So. We're both single." I snorted without meaning to, still not believing that this guy came in here just to buy flowers and could be this nervous without having someone special. 

"Mhmm." It took a lot to hold back a smile, to make my sound of agreement not sound too sarcastic, but somehow I did it, and I was able to keep my hopes up that he'd come back. I was fiddling with the last flower now, the wrapping complete and the bouquet ready to be handed over, but there was a tension in the cramped shop that kept me from doing so, an intensity in the other man's eyes that had me standing still. "Well, uh, nice talking to you..."

"Levi. Levi Ackerman, captain at the Trost Police Department." I nodded, pleased that he had given me his name, because I had learned from experience that a name meant more chances of coming back. I had to stop myself from trying it out, just to feel how it would roll off my tongue, to see his reaction to a new voice calling his name.

Levi. It was a nice name, one I could get used to, and I couldn't stop myself from hoping I'd have a reason to.

"I'm Eren. Eren Yeager, owner of the flower shop apparently closer to your station than any of the nonexistent flower shops in Trost." I sent him a smile as I handed him his flowers, muted amusement hidden behind my grin as he took the bouquet, looking almost as if he had forgotten about the reason he had come in the shop in the first place and surprised that I was giving him flowers. "$27.50, please. Got to make a living somehow."

"Right. Sure. Here." He pulled out his wallet, one that looked almost new with how well it seemed to be cared for, shuffling through it before pulling out a credit card and handing it to me. The minute in which I swiped it and had him sign his name was spent in silence, but somehow I was able to feel his gaze locked on me the entire time. I did my best to avoid eye contact as I handed him back his card, unsure if the intensity of his stare was from disapproval or perhaps something even worse and choosing to keep my head down to preserve my chances of not ticking him off anymore than I had. The shorter man didn't seem to know what he was supposed to do with himself, shifting his weight from foot to foot before he finally turned and left the shop, the click of his boots loud enough to be heard under the the ring of the bell on the door that signified that he had finally taken his leave of my shop and the soft pattering of the start of an afternoon shower.

 

~~~

 

I was replacing the water in the vases of the flowers I had on display when he came back, only a day after I had sold him a bouquet of camellias, and after my initial astonishment at seeing him again so soon I sent him a smile and finished pouring clean water into the vase I was holding. I set the flowers back in their rightful place and wiped my hands on the worn apron I wore when downstairs working in the quint little flower shop below my apartment, moving to step up to the counter and waving hello. I didn't think I had done anything terrible to him yesterday, but...

"Hey! Um, is there something wrong...?" Levi, his name echoing in my mind as I thought it, furrowed his brow but didn't bother to look up as he closed the same plain black umbrella I had seen him with before. "I mean, to come all the way from Trost again..."

"I wanted to." His words were curt, nearly forced, and I found myself taking an involuntary step back at the hostile aura surrounding the shorter man. He seemed so different from the man who lost his voice over being smiled at, and I felt my eyes grow wide with fear.

"I'm so sorry, whatever I did, I'm so sorry, I'll give you your money back-"

"It's fine, brat." I flinched at his words, still so much more harsh than they had been yesterday, and he sighed, eyes softening slightly as he met my frightened gaze. "The case I'm on currently is a piece of shit. You didn't do anything wrong."

"O-oh..." I swallowed, still unsure what to do with myself and almost unbelieving that I truly had done nothing wrong, but after a moment of suffocating silence I cleared my throat and spoke once more, voice strained and eyes trained on the small beads of water on my counter from when I had been refilling the water in the vases. "Is there something I could do to help? I mean, I know you probably can't talk about whatever it is, but, um, we can talk about other things? Like, um, therapeutic candles. Those might help." The raven haired man snorted, not bothering to hide his amusement, and I sent him a smile slightly less strained than my voice had been. He wasn't upset, not with me at least, so I had managed to keep another costumer.

"You're a fucking idiot, kid." He tilted his head back just slightly as I sputtered in indignation, but his next words had me freeze and tint my ears with a whole different type of red. "It's cute."

That day it was me who was unable to make proper conversation, deftly preparing another bouquet for the shorter man as he watched me silently and only really being woken from my daze by the chime of the door as he left. I had to remind myself to slow down, to keep any hope from growing, to banish any thoughts about the policeman that involved the words 'handsome' or 'alluring' or 'sexy-as-hell'. He was a costumer, a successful man from a wealthier district and a girlfriend he bought flowers for, and even the arguments I tried to make as my mind warred over the label I would put on Levi about how he had claimed to be single did nothing to stop that. No successful wealthy man from another district would visit an unnoticeable flower shop, no reasonable man at all would trudge through the dismal grey that hung over everything, not without someone special waiting for them somewhere.

It was only that night, long after when I normally would have drifted off even with the dilapidated bed beneath me keeping me awake with creaks and groans as I moved, when I finally made peace with what Levi was: 'costumer'. That was it, that was all I could ever expect him to be. Still...

It had been a long time since someone had looked at me like that, as if they meant it when they called me cute, and the pressure in my chest disregarded the fact that I barely knew the guy. It didn't matter who it was from, not when I finally felt like more than just a tiny person in a big world, even if it was only for a moment. I hadn't been in a relationship since high school, not since I had come out, and with so little experience... Well, it didn't take much to make my apparently obviously gay heart flutter. 

So I would continue like this, smiling and selling and praying to whatever gods bothered to listen through the sound of rain that perhaps if he liked me enough I'd hear more kind words from the raven-haired police officer. Perhaps he'd call me cute again, perhaps someone else would, I didn't care... But please, please, let me feel that moment of warm happiness again...

 

~~~

 

To my surprise, Levi visited everyday. Every day through the rain and the grey and the occasional day without the constant patter of water from the sky, and every day he came he bought a different bouquet and somehow managed to stay just a moment longer than he had the last time. After only a week I had learned he truly didn't care for how I spoke, though the shorter man's mouth was always thrice as foul as my own. 

It had taken my own promises to reassure him that I didn't care about how he spoke either, the first time he had made a horrendously bad shit joke causing him to freeze up until I had laughed softly, a tacit agreement passing through us in that moment that the boundaries between us wouldn't be quite so professional. He would insult me, I'd insult him back, and he'd watch with thoughtful eyes as I laughed unrestrained, thrilled with the here and now, with the promise of having someone to talk to.

It was the first time, for me. The first time I didn't have to make up someone's story, the first time I wasn't looking for loose coins between the couch cushions before giving up on anything but what I had already in the run down fridge in the corner of my kitchen for dinner that week. He never asked me about money after that first day, but somehow, I think he knew. It was in the way he eyed my worn shirts, the way he pretended it was no big deal when he began paying in cash and would always end up leaving a few extra dollars behind each day. He knew, and the subtle way he tried to help made my heart clench with appreciation for him.

It was a rare sunny afternoon when I knew we had finally smudged the line that was supposed to be between us enough to ignore it, an afternoon when the smell of something sweet and warm accompanied the chime of the bell and the now familiar footsteps of a certain man with a reluctance to admit to having a lover that he was giving all these flowers to. I looked up with a smile, a real smile and not the false plastic one I gave everyone else, and in return I was greeted with a brown paper bag and a styrofoam cup being slid onto the counter between us.

"Here. My, uh. My coworker gave these to me, but I'm not a fan of sweet things." I blinked, taking a moment to study the almost not there pink on the alabaster skin of his cheeks and the way his hands clenched by his side and the way he always remembered to leave his gun in his car after the first time he had realized my eyes always grew wide with uncomfortable anxiety when they landed on it. "So maybe you'd like it?"

"Oh. Thanks." I sent him another smile as I reached for the bag, my grin growing wider at the sight of the pastry inside and deciding not to comment on how it was the same kind I had confessed to being my favorite when we had been talking about the bakery that had opened up down the street, or on how the both the coffee and the pastry were slightly too warm for him to have come all the way from Trost with them. 

I spent a long time on the bouquet I arranged for him that day, Levi leaning against the counter and looking pleased with himself when my face lit up when I got a taste of the coffee he had given me. The pastry I would save for dinner, but the coffee...

"Mmm... It's been so long since I've had a decent cup of coffee..." When I opened my eyes I was greeted by a quirked eyebrow from the shorter man, and I shrugged as I took another sip, having to restrain from letting out another moan at how good it was. "My coffee maker is complete shit." I paused, watching Levi's expression turn to one of thoughtful worry, then set the warm cup down onto the counter as I licked at the cream that had stuck to my lip. "It's fine, though. So long as it wakes me up in the morning, right?" I laughed, not quite as forced as I thought it would be, and watched as the police officer relaxed.

So much of our time together was just watching, analyzing the other and backtracking as we made mistakes, waiting for any sign that what we had said or done had had an affect. I wasn't complaining, no, of course not- if not for the normalcy of quiet calculations of the other, I'd be afraid of being called out on my lingering looks, of the budding feelings I knew I shouldn't have for this man.

"Speak for yourself, kid- I don't know how the fuck you manage to personally insult your mouth with shitty coffee everyday." I shrugged, sensing that it wouldn't be appropriate to simply say that I didn't have much of a choice, and the rest of our time spent together in my rarely noticed flower shop was spent normally: I finished his bouquet, Levi handed over the money and told me to keep the change, and after lingering for a minute more to say goodbyes that we didn't quite want to mean and insulting each other in a way that only solidified what the coffee and pastry had done, what they meant, he left. 

I had never expected anything from the short police officer with the black umbrella, from the man I never thought would want to come back, let alone know his name. I had never expected to care about what a costumer's best friend was like, about how their day had gone, the number of times I had seen them smile and then celebrating when that number increased. I had grown stupidly fond of this man, of this wonderful, beautiful man, and yet...

And yet we still said goodbye, that wonderful, beautiful man leaving with a bouquet of flowers that couldn't just be sitting around once he arrived home, flowers that were meant for a special someone he still refused to admit to.

Somehow, even through the joy of not being so lonely anymore, I was hurt that he didn't trust me.

 

~~~

 

"You know, Levi," I said to him one day, in that drawn out moment where we both knew it was time for him to leave and neither of us wanting to be the one to say it, "isn't it odd that it rains everyday?"

"What?" I smiled at him, a bit of the bitter loneliness I felt everyday before Levi started visiting me slipping through, and I cocked my head at him. He had done so much for me, whether he realized the extent to which he had done so or not, and the words I said next were ones that not even Armin, not even Mikasa had heard.

"We're taught in school that rain is a symbol of rebirth, of change... Yet everyday it rains here. Everyday it rains, and nothing has ever changed..." Levi furrowed his brow, looking mildly confused, and I let my smile fade slightly.

"Bullshit. I'm here." There was a moment of silence, not quite awkward but not natural, either, and after a moment I was smiling again, no hint of sadness this time.

"Yeah. You are." And he was, though perhaps there was a twinge of guilt in my gut at the thought that I'd so much rather meet with him somewhere else, somewhere I wouldn't be reminded of why he was buying flowers. 

I had realized it last week, when I looked up and saw him and smiled, when I realized that I would be getting a coffee and pastry from him every day, when I saw his eyes soften at the sight of me in a way I knew I was special to be able to see... It was then I had realized I had accidentally fallen in love with him.

How many months had it been since he had first walked in and run away, only to come back every day since? How many weeks had it been since it had become commonplace for him to stay longer than any of the other few costumers I may get, longer than what should've been appropriate? And how many hours crawled by each day before 6:30, before Levi got off of work and drove over from Trost and stopped in the coffee shop down the street to buy me the one nicety I'd be afforded that day? It had been over a week since I had even considered going over to Armin's to waste away my time playing his old video games, and the last time I had done so he had sensed that something good must've happened and had simpy smiled and waved away my half-assed excuses.

And perhaps it was days or weeks or months even after that that I spent a night sitting up hours past closing time, the sky dark enough the rain was only visable when the light from my shop glanced off it and made it shimmer almost like glowing threads hung from the sky. I had waited for Levi all day, busying myself with rereading a favorite book and cleaning the shop and spending a long time with every display bouquet I had, yet there had been no sign of him. No cop car driving past without its lights on, no short police officer coming from the direction of the coffee shop that had long closed up for the night, no nothing, and for the first time in a long, long time I resorted to creating stories for people. 

I had grown familiar with most of the people who walked the street my cramped shop had found a home in, so I did the one thing I had told myself over and over again I wouldn't do: I would create the story of Levi's girlfriend.

I had already decided when I first met the grey-eyed man that her name would be Lily, that her hair and eyes would be brown, but I hadn't gone deeper than that. I had been too caught up in the promise of having someone to talk to, and by the time I finally had time to create a real story for her it was too late to save my heart. I took a deep breath before giving in, thinking of brown hair barely brushing the tips of shoulders covered with a thin shirt, short jean shorts a brilliant shade of pastel pink that contrasted with the white of her shirt in a way that made everyone around her picture her as a happy girl. 

Levi seemed to always brighten up a bit when I smiled, so perhaps it reminded him of her, and the bright colors she wore and the jangly bracelets on her wrist and the flowers in her hair forgotten as she smiled at him. He deserved someone like that, happy and bouncy and everything he needed to balance him out and relax him when he began to tense up- something I was never able to do. I always seemed to just make it worse, his muscles stiffening as he fell mute whenever I smiled at him or leaned closer to him or the one time I had risked running my fingers through his hair as I joked that without such a haircut he'd look like a child...

I shook my head, refusing to do this to myself, to start comparing myself with someone I was making up, but the silence I had been left in would've urged me to continue if it hadn't been for the hesitant knock on the door that echoed through the room at that moment. My eyes grew wide at the site of the disheveled looking man on the other side, watching me with tired eyes as I got up from my uncomfortable wooden stool behind the counter in a rush to unlock the door for him. He looked so defeated, so ready to collapse, and I had already pulled him into an embrace before I could convince myself it wasn't my job to be his anchor.

"Hey... Are you okay? You look awful..." He snorted, and my grip on him tightened slightly as I realized my mistake. "Oh! I mean, you just... You look really tired! Not awful, I mean-"

"It's fine kid. If I minded your verbal diarrhea, I wouldn't keep coming back." He had yet to raise his arms to return the embrace, simply lying limp in my arms in a way that made me question whether he'd be able to stand on his own should I let go. That fact, that one single fact pulled from a litany of mashed feelings, made me frighteningly aware of the fact that I was gay and in love and he probably knew it, and I needed to back up right then or else I might scare him away. I was doing it before I could think about it more than that, backing away with my eyes wide with horror and fear and guilt as he slipped from my arms and met my gaze looking lost.

"Sorry." The word was barely a whisper, but it was audible, though it was a long time before his voice, quiet and deep like the thunder that rolled across the sky so frequently, reached my ears in response.

"Eren..." I looked up at the word, so rarely heard that it caused shivers to run down my spine, so used to hearing him call me kid or brat or idiot. 

He hadn't bought a bouquet of flowers that evening, hadn't spoken much, either. We had simply stood there by the door for a long time, staring at the floor, and after nearly ten minutes had passed Levi shifted his weight and turned back to the door, hesitating with it cracked open to let in the sound and smell of rain.

"I'll see you tomorrow." And then he was gone, leaving me to find myself in a fitful sleep and wake wondering if the whole thing had been something I had dreamt up. 

I knew it hadn't been, though, when the raven-haired officer came in early the next day looking slightly guilty and not even in his uniform, not having to say anything to tip me off that it was his day off yet he still spent it with me, staying with me almost to closing time. I didn't say anything as I began to clean up for the day, though, Levi leaning with his back to the counter and the bouquet I had made him hanging limp in his hand as he watched me. When I had finished I had turned to face him, leaning against the door I had almost locked without thinking, without remembering that the man behind me wouldn't appreciate being locked in, and for the second day in a row we spent a long time simply standing there, not speaking, not meeting each others eyes. And then...

"Go out with me." The words weren't a question, though when my head snapped up to meet his eyes I could see the uncertainty in his gaze. Surely he didn't mean-

"W-what?" I was sure the shock was obvious in my eyes, not quite processing the situation yet.

"I mean, if you want to..." And fuck, I wanted to, I wanted to so badly, anything to be closer to this man... "You don't have to, it was a question, I meant it as a... Question."

"B-but... You... I thought..." I could see the resignation in his eyes and I knew that he thought I wouldn't accept, but that wasn't the case, not at all. I had been yearning for this for so long, but it wasn't adding up, not quite. "All this time... I thought... You didn't have a girlfriend?"

"What? Fuck no. I'm gay." I could see the confusion in his expression, how lost he was at the question, but I had yet to fully comprehend what he was saying. "I told you, that first day..."

"But... You were so nervous... I thought you were lying... Fuck, all this time..." I groaned, dragging a hand over my face. "I mean, damn it, Levi, this is a flower shop! You can't expect me to think you were single and still came in every day to buy flowers!"

"Why the hell would I be lying? I was nervous because you're fucking gorgeous!" I felt my eyes widen more than I thought possible, my heart squeezing where it was lodged in my throat at the words it was obvious he hadn't mean to let slip. "Shit, I mean-" He swallowed thickly, still uncertain, but the burning determination was back in his eyes to replace the resigned look, and I knew he hadn't given up yet. "No. No, I meant that."

"So... You really..." My hands clenched at my sides, bunching up the fabric of the apron I always wore and never remembered was there, but I refused to look away. There was so much space between us, the entire room, though it wasn't extensive, yet I felt so close... 

"Yeah. I'm single. And you said you were single and gay and fuck if that wasn't enough motivation to get me to keep driving here from Trost past three different flower shops to see you every day." He took a deep breath, stepping forward and after a moment of consideration he raised his arm, extending the bouquet of flowers in my direction. It was pointless, really, because they were my flowers originally, but the cliche moment was worth it. All those days that I had spent thinking about how lucky the girl who received Levi's flowers had to be... "Please, Eren. Go out with me. Just give me a chance, just one chance to take you to some shitty restaurant for dinner-"

"Yes." He froze, almost not believing I had agreed, not believing the grin stretched across my face, not believing what had happened, stuck in a similar state I had been just moment earlier as I somehow managed to span the distance between us and take the flowers from him. "I'd love to."

I wasn't sure what happened between then and the next moment, my head angled down and Levi with his arms slung around my neck, our lips pressed together in a fervent first kiss, but I didn't much care. My own arms found homes wrapped around his waist, happy to let the shorter man literally steal my breath away, and he seemed happy to do the same. It wasn't until we had broken away to breathe that I had completely erased the story of Lily, and it wasn't until I had giggled as he chased my lips with his own, not yet ready to let me go, did I forget it completely.

"Thank you for the flowers, Levi." He grunted, averting his eyes and obviously not seeing how I could appreciate them so much when I had arranged them, but I simply let myself place one last kiss on his lips, wet and swollen now, before pulling away to grin at him once more. "I'll close up early this Friday if you come get me. I'd rather the restaurant not be shitty, though."

"Right. Yeah. Okay." He paused, then spoke again, and I felt like laughing when I realized we were both stuck in the same daze. "What? Oh, right. Yeah. Okay. Preferences?"

"Mm... Could you take me somewhere you like? In Trost? I don't get out much, you know, I'd rather make the most of it." He nodded, eyes almost glowing with a happiness I hadn't ever seen in them before, and somehow I ended up alone in my dingy little flower shop, Levi having left me with his phone number to keep me company, and it was only when the odd late-night shopper walked past my window did I remember the bouquet I held in my hands.

I walked slowly, locking up and pulling myself upstairs to place the flowers in a vase by my bedside, and that night, the creak of my bed didn't quite bother me. That night I dreamt of silky black hair and steely eyes, accompanied by a pair of lips I had finally claimed with my own, and I woke feeling rested and happy and not at all lonely, not at all minding the rain that was leaking through my sorry excuse for a roof.

Rain was a symbol of change, after all, and my life was moving once more towards the hopeful promise of having someone by my side once more to keep me company, perhaps for a long, long, long time.

**Author's Note:**

> An attempt to portray the feeling of a change that comes too slowly


End file.
